Jealousy is considered an emotion that specialists explain at the psychobiological and cultural level. In the context of a couple relationship, in small doses and as an alert reaction to a decline in love, jealousy can be healthy; but if it becomes excessive, it can be a terribly sharp weapon, which can injure and do great harm.
The problem is not with feeling jealousy but with the intensity of it, its frequency, whether or not it is justified and how it influences our behavior. Pathological jealousy must be treated with the help of a professional, in a psychology office. But if the jealous person has not arrived at this sickly stage, he can use simple tactics that will allow him to balance his moods and restore harmony – based on tenderness, understanding, tolerance and mutual respect – within his couple.
Do you want to learn how to control your jealousy? Take note of the tactics we offer here!
Think that your spouse loves you as you are. To accept the love he/she has for you, you must above all love yourself too, so you will compare yourself less to others and will be less likely to feel jealousy. Accept yourself better, work on your self-esteem. According to specialists, the psychological profile of the person who feels jealousy frequently includes a lack of self-esteem and self-confidence.
It is important that you have your own personal life, with its own interests and projects. If you become more independent and creative, your jealousy will decrease and your understanding of each other’s activities will increase. Your spouse is a person and not your property; excessive control must give way to mutual trust.
When doubts assail you, first of all, you must calm down and, then, speak about it. Determine if there are justified reasons for your jealousy and, if so, talk to your partner with evidence and a conciliatory tone. It’s about finding out what’s really going on and confronting it with your perception, which may be wrong. Talk about your feelings by clearly explaining the behaviors that make you feel that way.
Take the opportunity to create a basis for ongoing dialogue, trust and romantic contact: these tools will be very useful in overcoming disagreements and jealousy.
Accept the fact that you feel jealousy and try to determine the causes. Is it jealousy by comparison and fear of being replaced?
Arm yourself with courage, confidence and understanding in order to accept reality but make a special effort to drive away irrational thoughts. Settle into the present and, if you are suffering from an acute attack of jealousy or that you feel unable to manage it without help, speak to a psychologist.
Pay attention to how often jealousy issues appear in your romantic relationship. If, in a couple, jealousy is permanent, it will tend to deteriorate and disrupt the affective relationship, opening the door to reproaches, claims, demands and continual pressure on the loved one.
Pay attention to the following warning signs:
Do you need to control all your spouse’s movements?
Do you support his friends less and less?
Do you continually blame him for the way he dresses or behaves?
Do you think you know more about thoughts, intentions, etc. of your partner than himself?
Has the need to have it all to yourself increased lately?
If you answered yes to the majority of these questions, you are certainly the victim of an attack of jealousy.