If this is happening to you, you are NOT about to break up

Even if you feel like your relationship is hanging by a thread, that’s not necessarily the case.

Being in a relationship is not the “long calm river” that one might think. In the intoxication of the first months, everything can look perfect. We tend to idealize the other, to exaggerate their qualities and deny their faults: to dream and create a world that fills our eyes with illusions. But when the passion subsides, the crisis begins. Suddenly, what used to be so perfect isn’t. We start noticing each other’s flaws, conflicts start, and we don’t feel as “in love” as we used to.

What is happening? Something much more normal than you think. It happens to all couples. If this is your case, don’t despair! You are at a “pivotal moment”. And even if it feels like everything is hanging by a thread, that’s not necessarily the case. If you go beyond this moment, you can move on to the next stage and deepen a much more real love.

1. You disagree

Being in a couple is not always thinking the same thing. It’s normal for you to have different opinions about things and this can cause arguments. But nobody is “right” or “wrong”: you can have different points of view: what matters is that you learn to respect that of the other. If this disagreement concerns matters directly related to the couple like what love or fidelity means, on the other hand, you will absolutely have to come to an agreement.

2. You don’t have the same tastes

Another illusion of romantic love is that you have to “share everything”. The misconception of “soul mates” or “halves” finding and complementing each other. You must understand that the good thing about sharing with the other is that he is different from you! So he or she will be your teacher and can teach you new things, make you see things from an angle that you did not know.

3. You’re not so stuck together anymore

It is normal that after the merging phase of the beginnings, you no longer need to be glued to each other as much all the time. Both of you may want to see your friends a little more (if at some point you’ve seen them less), to have more space for yourselves, and you may even be less affectionate. It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the end of your romance: it could even represent the beginning of a more mature stage.

4. Sex isn’t as common anymore

For the reasons we have just mentioned, it may happen in this new stage that you no longer want to make love with as much passion or as often as before. It’s also not a sign of the end but a new stage in which you will begin to share other things more related to the pleasure of each other’s company.

Of course, these signs depend a lot on each couple and the particular moment each is going through. That’s why the best thing to do is:

Never ignore your intuition. If something inside you tells you that things are not going well, listen.

Never lose sight of your own desires, needs and limitations. Take care of yourself and respect yourself in everything.

Talk with your partner. Always talk with love and respect, to make the other person understand what is happening to you and listen to them. Working on mutual empathy is the best way to lay a good foundation.