Romantic relationships can be the basis of many potential sources of conflict and stress.
It is logical that couple relationships are not always at their maximum potential and sometimes crises can arise, for different reasons. Couple relationships are interpersonal relationships: this is why our beliefs and our way of behaving will be decisive for whether they are (or not) satisfactory.
Let’s not forget that it is possible to resolve many of these disagreements, so that stability returns within the relationship. But this requires willpower and, in some more difficult cases, the help of a psychologist.
The most common problems in a relationship
It would be strange if a couple did not go through ups and downs, because each member of the relationship has their own way of thinking and behaving. This is why, sometimes, it is necessary to discuss and reach a compromise in order to keep the relationship healthy. To put it another way: although every relationship goes through difficult times, fulfilled and happy couples have learned to manage conflicts and are aware of the fact that it is important to take into account the needs of the other.
But what are the most common conflicts that can arise in a relationship?
Here you will find the answer to this question:
1. Communication issues
As we told you, couples learn to manage conflicts and, at this level, communication is very important. Dialogue is essential for the relationship to work and is one of its essential bases, because it helps keep alive the common life project that two people who love each other have put in place.
If one of the members of the couple does not have enough empathy and is not able to understand the other or if he does not have the ability to give his opinion clearly, the relationship will be difficult to function because the conflicts will be inevitable.
2. Living together
One of the most common problems in couple relationships is living together. Often we have unreal expectations of living together with the person we love and an idealized image of sharing the same space for many hours. These false beliefs can be the basis of many conflicts that must be managed correctly and at the right time. When living with other people, it is necessary to negotiate, to give in and to come to agreements. Relationships are no exception to the rule.
Although infidelity often has other causes, such as poor communication or a lack of affection, it is a very serious relationship problem that is often impossible to overcome. In different surveys carried out in Spain, data show that 60% of men and 45% of women admitted to having been unfaithful at least once in their life. This shows that infidelity seems to be very present in couple relationships. Couples therapy can be very helpful in overcoming this problem.
4. Sexual problems
When there is not much harmony in intimate relationships, conflict in couple relationships increases and this affects both the expression of affection and the stability of the relationship. Caresses, silent eye contact, kisses and, of course, sex make a spouse feel unique and loved.
Some of the sexual problems that can not only affect the individual who suffers from it, but also his or her partner in life are: premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and lack of desire in men; anorgasmia, lack of desire, vaginismus and dyspareunia in women.
5. Differences in Core Values
A person’s core values influence the opinion and behavior of each member of the couple. When these values are not shared by the spouses, it can lead to serious conflicts. Although it is not always easy to overcome these differences, respecting the opinions of the other is a key element in minimizing them, even if you do not share the same values.
6. Traumatic events
Sometimes, certain traumatic events can occur in the life of one of the members of the couple and can lead to an existential crisis. This will obviously influence the well-being of the couple and the way they will interact. If one of the two members of the couple goes through a delicate moment such as, for example, the death of a loved one, it is often recommended to call on a psychologist so that this personal situation does not sound the death knell of the common relationship.
7. Problems outside the couple
If certain traumatic events can wreak havoc in the relationship, other problems unrelated to it can also harm the union of the spouses. For example, if one of the two spouses feels stressed or is tired of their work, it is possible that this will be felt at home.
Excess or lack of work, strict or inflexible schedules, professional insecurity or bad relationships with companions can have consequences, not only in the workplace but also in the couple’s relationship.
8. Problems with the family
Sometimes the conflicts are not directly related to the two lovers but can arise with certain family members (or even close friends). These problems can affect the quality of the relationship and weaken the couple. Because if, for example, problems arise with a mother-in-law or a father-in-law, the repercussions on the couple will be felt very quickly.
9. Economic difficulties
As we said, job stress can be a problem, but so can being unemployed and having serious financial difficulties. The inability to achieve a certain economic stability makes it impossible to envisage the future and frequently causes conflicts within the couple.
Having children is undoubtedly one of the best human experiences and one of the most beautiful consequences of loving someone, because it is a sign of absolute love and an enlargement of the family unit. However, what can be so positive and wonderful also has its downsides and can be complicated at times, largely because of the unrealistic expectations that may exist around having children but also because of role conflicts or because of the stress that education generates.
11. Uncertain Future
Healthy couples are generally those who have a shared project, a common project. They are united and acting to achieve this shared goal. But, when the members of the couple wonder if they should still be together, the difficulties arise. Conflicts are common in this case.
One of the big problems of the couple is the monotony, which often appears after the relationship has lasted for some time. Measures must therefore be taken to prevent this scenario from occurring. For example, at the sexual level, experts advise trying new things so that the flame does not go out.
13. Emotional Dependence
Emotional dependence also causes serious problems in a relationship. Generally, it is due to the fact that one of the two members of the couple has a rather low self-esteem and begins to feel a real addiction for the couple. When this is the case, then he loses all objectivity and the relationship becomes a constant source of conflict.
Sometimes we have unrealized expectations about the couple and, when we are confronted with reality, we realize that it does not correspond to what we had imagined. That’s not to say our spouse isn’t a good person, but often we ourselves have created unrealistic expectations about love and who we’ll live with.