Tips to find out if my partner is cheating on me sexually

If you’re reading this article now, it’s probably because you strongly suspect that your partner is having sex with another person.

To more accurately detect whether or not your partner is cheating on you sexually, in this article we will explain some details that may indicate betrayal. However, you must be aware that these are not going to be 100% sure that your partner is cheating on you, because each case is different: it is not necessarily always a sexual betrayal.

How to know if your partner is cheating on you

There is no typical psychological profile of the unfaithful person. However, we can cite many common behaviors and signals. When we know our partner well, it is easier to detect that something unusual is going on. It is possible that we do not know exactly what is going on but we feel that it may be something particular, for example, that the other could be deceiving us. Therefore, if you notice that your partner is different with you and that their attitudes and daily routines have changed drastically, then something is definitely wrong.

Routine changes

Your partner had the same routine every day, his schedules were well defined, the time he left work and came home was always the same, he didn’t go out with his friends very often and, when he did, he came home sooner or later; he exercised on certain days of the week and those were also well defined etc. Now you notice that, despite the fact that his working hours have remained the same, he comes home later than usual and if before he saw his friends with some regularity, now he sees them much more often. Commitments and extra activities spring up out of nowhere, the time you spent together has been noticeably reduced, and now he’s spending a lot more time away from home.

For some reason, he forbids you to accompany him to certain activities outside the house, he says he is going to do something at a certain time and he does not return in time. So, among other things, he invents not very credible excuses to justify his delays. You have to take into account that all these attitudes, he must have had them for some time. We cannot therefore say that because he has been behaving this way for three days, it is a question of infidelity: one should not take into account specific events; these must be continuous.

He is constantly attentive to the time and his phone

If you know that your spouse has no other commitments and that no exceptional event justifies the fact that he is always looking at the clock or his telephone but it has already been several days since he does, it is possible that something will happen. If so, other telltale attitudes are: always having your phone in your pants pocket or somewhere else where you can’t see it easily. You realize that whenever certain messages or calls come in, he tries to hide from you who he is communicating with, even walking away to answer and this pattern repeats every day. Another telltale behavior may be that he’s bothered every time you take his phone, even if you just do it to give it to him or for any other reason that isn’t for the purpose of spying on him.

He doesn’t want to have sex with you

You realize that his sexual appetite has drastically diminished and he has stopped wanting to have sex with you, when he never did in the past. Definitely, and especially if your partner was sexually active enough, this would be the most overwhelming proof that he is indeed having sex with someone else. It is possible that, when you want to have sex with him, he rejects you directly by telling you that he does not want to and/or invents an excuse not to have sex (for example that he is very tired or stressed). He goes to bed earlier and even pretends to sleep so that you don’t tell him anything, etc.

At this time, it is necessary to see if there is not another reason why your partner would behave this way. For example, he could be going through a very difficult and stressful time in a certain area of ​​his life, experiencing bereavement, beginning depression or suffering from hypoactive sexual desire disorder, among other things. . You also need to consider the frequency of this new behavior.

Changes in behavior when your partner is cheating on you

You notice that your partner is no longer the same, that he behaves very strangely towards you and you perceive that he no longer feels the same for you.

happy man

This can be very evident in certain behaviors, such as him no longer wanting to spend time with you like he used to. On the contrary, he gives more importance to the projects he makes with his friends, with his family or with other people who are close to him. He’s stopped being the affectionate person you used to know and is acting colder and more distant. He forgot details that before were very important and prefers to call other people on the phone rather than calling you. You feel that he is looking for excuses to end the relationship; he no longer cares about you or your physical or emotional well-being like he used to… these are some of the many details that point to the fact that something is not right in your relationship and that the other person no longer loves you like before.


If you find that your partner has become very explosive, gets into a bad mood quickly, and gets upset about almost everything, it could be a sign of infidelity. Especially if the things or situations he gets upset about aren’t enough to justify that anger and can even be considered “nonsense”. For example, if you incidentally point out to your spouse that he arrived later than usual and that instead of explaining to you calmly, without getting upset, the reasons for which he did so, he begins to get elated and shout back and tell you why he arrived late. Or, for example, if you ask him nicely, as you usually do, for a favor (which is likely to interfere with his new plans) and he starts to get angry and heated by telling you in an unpleasant way that he will not be able to do it, when he could have answered you normally. As with all the previous points, to know if your partner is cheating on you sexually, it must be determined whether it is a one-time situation or caused by something that has already happened in the past (for example a painful situation in another area of ​​his life) and see the frequency with which this type of attitude is reproduced.

This article is only informative. In online psychology, we do not have the ability to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to consult a psychologist to treat your particular case.